1) There are things which people may love and appreciate and things which they would dislike. There are also things upon which they would differ. So while some may be appreciative of them, others may not. Everyone loves to be smiled at and hates to be frowned at, yet some may appreciate jokes whilst others may not. Some would like it when others visit them whilst others would rather be left alone.
2) So if a wife knows that her husband loves jokes, then let her joke with him. If she discovers the opposite then she would avoid joking with him. The same can be said about a man dealing with his colleagues, neighbours and brothers. Do not think for a moment that people are all of the same nature for they differ and come in many varieties.
3) Whoever looks at the way the Prophet SAW dealt with people would realize that he would deal with everyone in accordance to their personality.
4) Everyone has a key to open his heart, earn his love and influence him. We notice this often in our lives. Be special and look for the keys with which to open up the hearts. Knowing the keys to their hearts helps them accept good advices when it is offered, that is if the advice is presented in an appropriate manner, as people do not all react the same way when advised. So be creative and always remember your objective. Be gentle and proceed the advice with care. Let them know how much you care and hoped for the best for them.
5) Hence, do not think that people are of similar nature. Rather, they differ tremendously. So use your knowledge of the person well for that is the key to their hearts.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
Fulfilling people's needs
1) Pragmatism. Have you ever heard of these phrases?
"If you are not serving my interests, why should I serve you? Why should I spend money on you? Why should I spend my time on you and struggle without any material gain?"
2) Islam turned this idea upside down. Allah SWT said "Be good to others, for Allah loves those who are good". The Prophet SAW said, "For me to walk with my brother to fulfill his need until it is fulfilled is more beloved to me than making it'ikaf in this mosque of mine for a month." He also said, "The one who helps his brother in need, Allah SWT helps him when he is in need."
3) Yes! The Prophet SAW used to enter people's hearts by fulfilling their needs. He would spend his strength, time and his wealth for their sake.
4) If a person needs to go to the hospital, you should take him to the hospital. If another person asks you for your help in a problem, you should help him out. Stand by him during his mishaps. If someone is sad, offer good and comforting words.
5) Do not hope for any rewards or even thanks. Be rest assured that your reward will come from Allah SWT.
6) Even a good word is charity!!
7) The one who lives for others surely has a hard life, but he will live nobly and die nobly insyaAllah. :-)
"If you are not serving my interests, why should I serve you? Why should I spend money on you? Why should I spend my time on you and struggle without any material gain?"
2) Islam turned this idea upside down. Allah SWT said "Be good to others, for Allah loves those who are good". The Prophet SAW said, "For me to walk with my brother to fulfill his need until it is fulfilled is more beloved to me than making it'ikaf in this mosque of mine for a month." He also said, "The one who helps his brother in need, Allah SWT helps him when he is in need."
3) Yes! The Prophet SAW used to enter people's hearts by fulfilling their needs. He would spend his strength, time and his wealth for their sake.
4) If a person needs to go to the hospital, you should take him to the hospital. If another person asks you for your help in a problem, you should help him out. Stand by him during his mishaps. If someone is sad, offer good and comforting words.
5) Do not hope for any rewards or even thanks. Be rest assured that your reward will come from Allah SWT.
6) Even a good word is charity!!
7) The one who lives for others surely has a hard life, but he will live nobly and die nobly insyaAllah. :-)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Respond to mistreatment with kindness
1) Been awhile since my last post. Been busy though. Apologies.
2) Most commonly when you deal with people, they treat you how they want to treat you, and not how you want to be treated. Not everyone you meet with cheerfulness is cheerful to you in return. Some of them may even become angry and think badly of you. Not everyone you present gifts returns your favour. Not everyone you are kind to in speech or praise generously or use kind words with responds to you in kind.
3) Allah SWT has divided up manners for people, just as He divided up their sustenance. Some people have no solution to their problems and nor is there a way to reform them. You can only deal with them in accordance with their own wishes. In that case, you can either have patience with them or leave them be.
4) Do not be saddened by mistreatment. Be firm like the mountain. The Prophet SAW would deal with people rationally and not emotionally. He would bear other people's mistakes and still be gentle with them. Gentleness only beautifies an action while harshness only serves to tarnish it.
5) If they consume my flesh, I spare theirs. If they destroy my honour, I build theirs. They do not hurry to my aid, but I hurry if they call me to theirs. I do not hold grudges against them, for the leader never bears grudges.
Reference: "Enjoy Your Life"
2) Most commonly when you deal with people, they treat you how they want to treat you, and not how you want to be treated. Not everyone you meet with cheerfulness is cheerful to you in return. Some of them may even become angry and think badly of you. Not everyone you present gifts returns your favour. Not everyone you are kind to in speech or praise generously or use kind words with responds to you in kind.
3) Allah SWT has divided up manners for people, just as He divided up their sustenance. Some people have no solution to their problems and nor is there a way to reform them. You can only deal with them in accordance with their own wishes. In that case, you can either have patience with them or leave them be.
4) Do not be saddened by mistreatment. Be firm like the mountain. The Prophet SAW would deal with people rationally and not emotionally. He would bear other people's mistakes and still be gentle with them. Gentleness only beautifies an action while harshness only serves to tarnish it.
5) If they consume my flesh, I spare theirs. If they destroy my honour, I build theirs. They do not hurry to my aid, but I hurry if they call me to theirs. I do not hold grudges against them, for the leader never bears grudges.
Reference: "Enjoy Your Life"
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Forgive and forget
1) Life is full of pains that we suffer due to others. One makes an embarrassing joke, another throws an insult, and so on. Many people intrude into other's private matters, other argue in public gatherings, others have different viewpoints and opinions and so on.
2) Some of us exaggerate matters in the mind and are willing to forgive and forget. Some of us are too proud to accept people's excuses and forgive them. Some people punish themselves by not forgiving others. Their hearts are often filled with envy that keeps their thoughts busy and constantly torment them. How fair is envy! It begins with the one who harbours it and ends up killing him.
3) Therefore, do not torment yourself. There are certain things in the world that you simply cannot punish anyone over. Have a big heart, forget the past and continue to live your life as normal.
4) How beautiful it is to forgive others and forget the painful past! Without any doubt, only great people can have this characteristic - those who rise with their noble principles above the lowliness of revenge and retribution, grudge and rage. Life is indeed very short. It is surely too short for us to soil it with grudge and malice.
5) Hate is baggage. Life is too short to be all pissed off all the time. It's not worth it.
2) Some of us exaggerate matters in the mind and are willing to forgive and forget. Some of us are too proud to accept people's excuses and forgive them. Some people punish themselves by not forgiving others. Their hearts are often filled with envy that keeps their thoughts busy and constantly torment them. How fair is envy! It begins with the one who harbours it and ends up killing him.
3) Therefore, do not torment yourself. There are certain things in the world that you simply cannot punish anyone over. Have a big heart, forget the past and continue to live your life as normal.
4) How beautiful it is to forgive others and forget the painful past! Without any doubt, only great people can have this characteristic - those who rise with their noble principles above the lowliness of revenge and retribution, grudge and rage. Life is indeed very short. It is surely too short for us to soil it with grudge and malice.
5) Hate is baggage. Life is too short to be all pissed off all the time. It's not worth it.
Monday, November 1, 2010
If what you desire does not happen, then desire that which does
1) If you are obliged to do something or forced into a situation, then you might as well enjoy it! This is what Dr Muhammad Abd Ar-Rahman Al-Arifi used to say to a young man who had diebetes. The young man used to drink tea without sugar and feel sorry for himself.
He would say to the young man, "When you feel sorry and sad while drinking your tea, does the bitterness turn into sweetness?"
The young man said "No". Then he replied, "Then, so long as you are forced into a situation, enjoy it!"
2) The world is not always as we wish it to be and this happens frequently in our lifes.
Perhaps, you apply for a seat in a particular university, but your application is only accepted by a department in which you do not want to study. You try to change the predicament, but you can't. You end up having to study for 4 years in a department that wasn't your choice. What should you do? Enjoy!
Perhaps, you liked a girl! But she refuses and marries someone else. What is the solution? this situation cannot be changed, so just enjoy it!
3) Many people think the solution is permanent depression or grumbling over the situation or excessive complaining. This does not help them acquire the provision they have missed out on or gain provision that is not meant to be for them.
If what you desire does not happen, then desire that which has happened. The intelligent person is the one who readjusts himself in accordance with his situation, however it may be, seeing he is not able to change it for the better. Well for all we know, perhaps the latter is an even better situation to be in. Allah SWT knows best.
4) Yes, live your life as there is no time to grieve. Deal with what you have in front of you. Not everthing a man desires he achieves. Often the winds blow in unfavourable directions for the ships.
5) "...But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not."
Surah Al-Baqarah : 216
6) S-M-I-L-E -----------> :-)
He would say to the young man, "When you feel sorry and sad while drinking your tea, does the bitterness turn into sweetness?"
The young man said "No". Then he replied, "Then, so long as you are forced into a situation, enjoy it!"
2) The world is not always as we wish it to be and this happens frequently in our lifes.
Perhaps, you apply for a seat in a particular university, but your application is only accepted by a department in which you do not want to study. You try to change the predicament, but you can't. You end up having to study for 4 years in a department that wasn't your choice. What should you do? Enjoy!
Perhaps, you liked a girl! But she refuses and marries someone else. What is the solution? this situation cannot be changed, so just enjoy it!
3) Many people think the solution is permanent depression or grumbling over the situation or excessive complaining. This does not help them acquire the provision they have missed out on or gain provision that is not meant to be for them.
If what you desire does not happen, then desire that which has happened. The intelligent person is the one who readjusts himself in accordance with his situation, however it may be, seeing he is not able to change it for the better. Well for all we know, perhaps the latter is an even better situation to be in. Allah SWT knows best.
4) Yes, live your life as there is no time to grieve. Deal with what you have in front of you. Not everthing a man desires he achieves. Often the winds blow in unfavourable directions for the ships.
5) "...But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not."
Surah Al-Baqarah : 216
6) S-M-I-L-E -----------> :-)
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Be content with what Allah has apportioned for you
1) Allah may give another person a noble lineage, abundant wealth and great intellect, yet deprive him of health. You will find him lying on his bed for twenty or thirty years. His wealth and lineage are useless.
2) There are those whom Allah gives you health, strength and intellect, yet deprives them wealth, so you see them in the markets carrying loads or as unprivileged and poor people who keep switching between humble jobs and hardly earn enough to stave their hunger.
3) This is how Allah gives people some things while depriving them of others. It is He who creates what He wills and chooses.
4) It is befitting for anyone afflicted with a calamity to recall Allah's favour to hm before counting the calamities Allah is testing him with, for if He has deprived you of wealth, He has given you wealth. If He has deprived you of both, then He has given you intellect. If He has deprived of you all, at least He has given you Islam. Congratulations to you for living Islam and dying upon it. Say Alhamdulillah!!
5) Look at the brighter aspects of life before looking the dark side and you will surely be happy!! :-)
2) There are those whom Allah gives you health, strength and intellect, yet deprives them wealth, so you see them in the markets carrying loads or as unprivileged and poor people who keep switching between humble jobs and hardly earn enough to stave their hunger.
3) This is how Allah gives people some things while depriving them of others. It is He who creates what He wills and chooses.
4) It is befitting for anyone afflicted with a calamity to recall Allah's favour to hm before counting the calamities Allah is testing him with, for if He has deprived you of wealth, He has given you wealth. If He has deprived you of both, then He has given you intellect. If He has deprived of you all, at least He has given you Islam. Congratulations to you for living Islam and dying upon it. Say Alhamdulillah!!
5) Look at the brighter aspects of life before looking the dark side and you will surely be happy!! :-)
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Do not kill yourself with grief
1) Yes!! do not kill yourself with grief, for it will not lighten your troubles.
2) Dr Al Arifi told a story of his friend Dr Abdullah. Dr Abdullah's eldest son went to a wedding party with the entire family in a nearby city, whilst he remained behind in Madinah due to his commitments at the university. On the way back they were involved in a terrible road accident in which the died, all eleven of them! When he heard the terrible news, he prayed over them and buried them with his own hands, all eleven of them.
3) Glory be to the One who gave him patience and made him strong. Guests would come to his house and bring coffee along with them, as he didn't have anyone to help him prepare anything for them. What is amazing is that if you were to see the man receiving condolences, you would think that he was the one giving condolences and that the one enduring the tragedy was someone else.
3) He would repeatedly say,"To Allah we belong and to Him we return. It belongs to Allah, whatever He takes or gives. Everything has an appointed time with Allah". This is the peak of intelligence, for if he did not behave in this manner, he would have died of grief.
4) That's right!! Do not kill yourself with grief and do not complain frequently. What is the benefit of complaining? It only increases suffering. You spend your precious time moaning and grieving.
5) You remain with your hands tied complaining. If you do not carry the burdens yourself, who will?
6) Live your life with what you have available, and you will always be happy! :-)
2) Dr Al Arifi told a story of his friend Dr Abdullah. Dr Abdullah's eldest son went to a wedding party with the entire family in a nearby city, whilst he remained behind in Madinah due to his commitments at the university. On the way back they were involved in a terrible road accident in which the died, all eleven of them! When he heard the terrible news, he prayed over them and buried them with his own hands, all eleven of them.
3) Glory be to the One who gave him patience and made him strong. Guests would come to his house and bring coffee along with them, as he didn't have anyone to help him prepare anything for them. What is amazing is that if you were to see the man receiving condolences, you would think that he was the one giving condolences and that the one enduring the tragedy was someone else.
3) He would repeatedly say,"To Allah we belong and to Him we return. It belongs to Allah, whatever He takes or gives. Everything has an appointed time with Allah". This is the peak of intelligence, for if he did not behave in this manner, he would have died of grief.
4) That's right!! Do not kill yourself with grief and do not complain frequently. What is the benefit of complaining? It only increases suffering. You spend your precious time moaning and grieving.
5) You remain with your hands tied complaining. If you do not carry the burdens yourself, who will?
6) Live your life with what you have available, and you will always be happy! :-)
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